It’s every working mom’s dream, right? To have plenty of time to lay around on the couch and have everyone else take care of all your responsibilities while you just . . . rest. Hmmm. You might think so until you have a doctor tell you that you have to do just that. For a month. This forced hiatus from life, otherwise known as bed rest, is anything but a fantasy, as reality sets in and you realize that you no longer have any control over your life, your home, or your children. Everything must be done for you and your bank account slowly reminds you why it is that you and your husband both work. In the mean time, your hubby takes over all the details of your finances, family, work, and home while trying desperately to hang on to the last threads of sanity. You can forget romance or sweet nothings – you just hope this whole episode doesn’t crush him. Although your job has been expecting to lose you to maternity leave in a month, they find themselves spontaneously in a lurch and end up hiring a temp to replace you. You hope and pray he’s not as good as you are and everyone is glad for you to come back when you’re ready, but will they be? And your little boy, whom you adore cries in your arms every night because he misses you and there is almost nothing you can do with or for him anymore. All the people you love and care about do everything they can for you and, although you are extremely grateful, you can’t help but feel like you’ve just become a giant millstone around everyone’s neck. And there’s nothing you can do about it. You have to protect your unborn baby and bring him safely into the world when he’s ready. So you while away the hours with books and the internet and TV while your life marches on around you but without you.
Still sound like a dream? Well, it’s not exactly peachy, but there are a few things that I have learned from this whole process so far:
- People who really care are willing to do SO much. It is more than words of sympathy, it’s service that stuns you. And although you may feel guilty for asking so much of people, you know that no one who has given anything resents what they’ve given. And it is beautiful.
- My hubby would do anything for his family. Even when it feels like he can’t, he does. He is a man worth having and holding and I am lucky.
- Once again, as I have said so many times before, I am reminded that we have to hold tightly to the little things. The beautiful things. And not become bogged down in difficulty. Rather than sink in the face of all that I cannot do, I need to cherish the time that I do have to read my son countless stories; do silly projects on the couch like paper plate superhero masks for his birthday; write notes of gratitude to the many people who are helping us (something I am normally so bad at accomplishing); and catch up on some blogging that pain and stress have kept me from staying on top of.
- People so often surprise you, and most of the time in a good way. You never know who will stand up and do something extraordinary that you never expected or something small that is touching in its intimacy.
- It is never shameful to ask for help. Those who want to give will do so gladly and those who judge you for asking can either get over it or get lost!
- Rest is overrated! So in the future when I complain about being too busy or stressed, I need to remember that it is those very things that fill my plate and make me so busy that I miss when they are taken away. They are the building blocks of my life and add purpose and fulfillment to it. As Jonathan always says, “To be a happy man, I have to be a tired man!”
- In the end, a month or two of hardship is tiny compared to the new life we are bringing into the world. One that will, as his brother did, completely change our lives and enrich them in ways we never even thought possible. Owen, I know you are worth it and I can’t wait meet you!
♥ For any who are interested . . . “A Small Way to be a Big Help“